In my previous blog, 3,5 years ago...for many reasons...I wrote about identity and what we identify with. How we can change the stories we tell ourselves. Which is very interesting! And to continue a boit on this theme; in this blog I explore how we can make small changes and get big changes in our perspectives!
We all need to use different tools from time to time in order to feel better, loosen knots in our relationships, get structure and organize our time better, or whatever it may be.
It strikes me very often how much I myself can influence my perceived part of reality; especially for how I feel and to become more grounded, strong, centered.
One is how we think and the other is how we act. We can also say working from the inside out (thoughts and words shape how I look at life) or from the outside in (biochemical processes which in turn affect emotions and happen when we use the body to strengthen and make ourselves more resourceful such as to stretch / use high-status language / act as if we were in the desired state).
So what we think about ourselves and a given situation is coloured by the words in our inner monologue or what we say in the outer world. If you notice that you do not get past the obstacles the thoughts say exist, then try to ask yourself: yes but IF I knew, what would I do then? Or: I know you do not know but if you knew? (yes it sounds undeniably strange to talk like this but it can help! :)
The brain believes in what you tell it, something I wrote about earlier in my blogs. This is also why it is so efficient to explore role-playing games and forum theatre- we test things for reality! The conscious and subconscious mind remembers your new assets to test in the meeting with ie the difficult colleague, resolve old conflicts in a new way, feel strong and neutral where you before felt weak or controlled from the outside.
Another way is to think about the physical states you have been in before when you were in a positive state, sold well, gave a fantastic presentation, were proud of an achievement, had good communication and reached out to our fellow human beings, etc. How was that? What did it feel like in your body? How was your posture? How did you stand / walk / sit? How did you breathe when you felt grounded and full of resources? Were your breaths even and deep or were they more superficial? Breathing has unexpectedly a lot to do with how we feel (and a trick an actor sometimes uses when he forms a character).
That little magic IF is widely used in some theatre educations and is similar to the NLP method where one of the principles is to make our language lighter.
So the first thing may be to become aware and lighten up how you talk to yourself. The second thing can be to act as if something was already real in your life. This is used, as mentioned above, in acting, but also in positive psychology to "attract" what you want more of in life. So apply this to yourself directly: choose a situation you want to change. Think about how it feels as if the desired situation was already here. What do you look like / move /how do you meet people IF you are already good at speaking infront of others, good at and saying yes when you mean it and no when you need and want to? Or what is your attitude IF you are already good at listening to others? IF you feel appreciated and seen or IF was the most sought after coach or similar?
Next time you feel stuck or that you aren't getting anywhere -try out new ways for ie your posture, become aware how you breathe and make conscious your inner monologue! Or take a course or session in dramacoaching with me or someone else in the field.
The way we experience life can be affected by small changes of perspectives, such as awareness of thoughts or body positions. Which in turn can be perceived as rather magical. Fotocredit: Aditya Saxena
